Finally, a little good news for those concerned about the fate of the endangered townhouses on 72nd Avenue: Somebody is actually doing something about the ongoing threat. If you’re getting here late, 72nd Avenue was once lined with beautiful turn-of-the-century rowhouses, but neighborhood ne’er-do-well Frank Bahar has been systematically destroying them, like some cartoon supervillain, and building tall, thin, featureless thumbs in the air in their place. There are only a few left, all on the west side of the street, the east side already having been obliterated. Who will save the day?

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The official NOVO 64 site now includes floor plans, and if it’s diversity you’re after, they’ve pretty much got you covered. You can buy a 640-square-foot studio — or 2,300-square-foot townhouse. Yes, I said “townhouse.”

No word on prices yet, though we’ve had at least one comment calling the prices “ridiculous,” so maybe I’m missing something. Anyone?

I love that I found this on a site called “PR Leap” — it’s a PR leap, all right. More information is now available on our favorite mysterious condo development, NOVO 64, including the fact that the office-parkish building in NoFoHi is “The Chicest Address in Queens.” That amusing little claim, which I think the residents of Greenway South might dispute, purportedly comes from the Daily News, though I couldn’t find it on their website. My guess is that either:

• The line appeared in an ad for NOVO 64 that ran in the Daily News, or
• The Daily News referred to Forest Hills in general as “one of the most chic addresses in Queens,” probably in an article that had nothing to do with NOVO 64 or, most likely, its decidedly Eastern European and Central Asian-influenced surroundings.

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Forest Hills 72 has some very disturbing news today. Little more than a week ago, we watched in agony as demolition started on the last charming townhouse on the east side of 72nd Avenue, thanks to Frank Bahar and his insatiable lust for destroying beautiful neighborhoods. Now, heartbreakingly, the remaining townhouses on the west side of the street are for sale, and they’re “perfect for developers.” (Why not “perfect for people who like to own the nicest real estate in town”?) I’m going to go so far as to make a guarantee here: If these townhouses aren’t landmarked, they will be ripped down and replaced with tall, narrow, shoddy-looking office blocks. Bet on it, 100-percent probability, it will happen.

What can you do? Write, call or e-mail to futility.com — wait, no, I mean Melinda Katz’s office. Contact info after the jump.

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A couple of weeks ago, over on the forums, phatcat43 gave all us non-luxury-apartment-owning peons an inside look at the mysterious, do-people-live-there-or-don’t-they Windsor. (I should offer some sort of door prize to the first actual Windsor dweller who identifies him or herself on this site.) Now, from weird Realtor Adrian Moldovan, whose credit-card-like business card I found inside a convenience store on Austin when I stopped in to buy a Pepsi, I give you a slightly nauseating video tour. It keeps repeating itself and spends way too much time lingering on the fitness room — remember, luxury condos don’t have gyms, they have fitness rooms – but for the curious, it still provides a decent look at what’s going on in there. Plus it’s got opera. Is it just me, or do that doorman and concierge look like they don’t see much action?

By the way, Adrian, 50 points off for questionable use of a .tv domain.

Ah, Craigslist, always the best place to find outlandish claims by desperate sellers. Here’s an ad for a $285k FSBO one-bedroom I came across the other day. Let’s go through it and see how many obvious lies we can pick out, shall we? I’ll even be generous and omit the standard real-estate hyperbole like “SUPERLUX” and “MILLION DOLLAR LOCATION.”

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In all the fuss about the possibility of Windsor II and Windsor III and a “5-star luxury hotel,” did we miss something big — and, more importantly, something real? For a couple of weeks, signs at the vacant location of the not-so-dearly departed Vincci on Austin Street have been promoting something called “NOVO 64: Forest Hills Your Way.” But what exactly is “Forest Hills Your Way”? Twenty different types of leather? Pick your own pasta shape and mediocre sauce? Custom-order bedpans?

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I gained a certain amount of local blog notoriety some time back by openly wondering why grungy, desolate, inaccessible Red Hook was suddenly considered “hip” while lovely, safe, thriving Forest Hills was terminally uncool. My conclusion: Hipsters like to feel like they’re slumming it. Red Hook is hip precisely because it’s so scary and ugly, whereas FoHi doesn’t get a second look largely because it’s so nice. Trust-fund punkers don’t want nice, Joey Ramone’s hometown or not.

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Did you know there’s a site that will tell you whether your property values are doomed? It’s true! ZIP code by ZIP code, PropertyShark’s handy Bubble Trouble map lets you know whether you’re still breaking even or should probably go ahead and start selling off pieces of your home as lumber.

The verdict for Central Queens? You’ll be pleased to know that Forest Hills, Kew Gardens and Briarwood are all doing great. Rego Park, however, is in “Triple Bubble Trouble,” the site’s most heinous designation, with drops in number of sales and value of sales plus increased foreclosures. I find this odd considering that Rego Park might be the neigborhood I’d least expect to be in Triple Bubble Trouble. It is, after all, right next to prestigious Forest Hills while being significantly cheaper, and the home to a fairly wide selection of shopping, restaurants and services. It’s got a subway stop and a big community of one of the more affluent immigrant groups out there. If it’s overvalued — and I’m not saying it isn’t — all neighborhoods are overvalued. So what’s the problem? I could understand a drop if the surrounding areas were also affected, but PropertyShark says they’re not.

I’m personally a fan of Rego Park and think the neighborhood has great potential — I would and do recommend it to anybody who’s budget-conscious but still wants a safe, busy and diverse place to live. But it looks like that sentiment is all too rare these days. Three frowny faces don’t lie. Of course, all this gloom only applies to current residents. If you’re looking for a deal and don’t mind taking a little gamble, the market’s loss is your gain.