Back in high school, a friend of mine observed that, in NYC, the price of a plain slice of pizza is usually the same price as one subway fare. Interestingly, this has held true for over two decades. Has this equilibrium been thrown out of whack by the new subway fares!?

Barely. It’s holding steady, but it’s not looking good for pizza lovers. At the Queens Central Labs, I conducted an incredibly in-depth, scientific phone survey of pizza places in Kew Gardens, Rego Park and Forest Hills and found that a plain slice is still being sold at most establishments for $2.00. Out of 11 pizza joints surveyed, six still offer the “subway rate”, while five have broken the conventionally accepted price barrier, up to 50 cents more!

Because I’m terrified of everyone and everything, that’s why. Luckily, besides the occasional little family murder scandal and the scourge of organized stalking, nothing bad ever happens in Forest Hills and Rego Park. I’ve talked over and over again on this very site about how safe the 112th precinct is. I remember when I moved here–less than four years ago!–I told everybody that a big reason was that it was one of the safest neighborhoods in the city, with the property values of “up-and-coming” neighborhoods that were loads more dangerous. Seemed like crime rates had nowhere to go but up, but intrepid Daily News reporter Nick Hirshon reports today:

The 112th Precinct, where many aging cops used to go just before retiring, saw robberies drop 42.8% from 2006 - the best improvement in the borough.

Why? It’s because our cops aren’t senile anymore, Hirshon posits. The 112th is no longer “The Snooze Precinct”–now police officers under 60 may be lucky enough to land here. Sign me up!

With crime rates lower than basically anywhere, really, why live anywhere else?

You may know by now that the infamous Restaurant Row Popeye’s is a mere myth. (In case you don’t: It’s going to be upscale Asian fusion instead. Yes, again. Yes, two doors down from the other place.) Of course, even for most pessimists, the prospect of a famously low-end fast-food outlet moving into a gigantic piece of prime FoHi retail space and installing a rice cooker, a Chinese wok range and a noodle boiler was a little hard to swallow, but that didn’t stop the anonymous comments on FH72, my favorite of which was:

The same franchisee owns the Popeyes in Woodhaven on Jamaica Av–looks likes Forest Hills will be his newest baby.

The veracity of this unsourced claim was swiftly challenged, but even if it’s true, I love it because upon hearing it, my first thought wasn’t Oh, no, it must be Popeye’s! but Oh, they must have the same owner–that explains why Popeye’s could have been mistakenly listed on the document. Sometimes the glass actually is half full, people.

Considering the Popeye’s controversy, I found a post on the forums today quite encouraging–it seems that an “organic café and marketplace” is likely to be opening on Queens Boulevard and 67th Avenue, hopefully adding to recent gasps of life in that long-stagnant part of town, which I believe I deemed “a lost cause” not long ago in a post I don’t care to look up. If it’s true–and the evidence is pretty convincing–great move by the owner opening up near the new New York Sports Club. I only wish I lived closer. Oh, well, there’s always Sonoma Coffee Café, which may have a bright future despite the bland look and ’80s-esque graphic design.

It didn’t get much attention, but the keen transit observers at SubChat have noticed that the G is kaput beyond Court Square once the MTA implements its fare-increase-related service “enhancements.” Of course, you weren’t taking the G anyway, so you don’t really care. Which is why it was cut, I suppose. I still think it was theoretically cool that you could take a single train from Forest Hills to Williamsburg, though like everybody else, I never actually did it.

Merry Christmas! To celebrate, here’s some Jew stuff for you.

Most of you are probably familiar with the saga of the Trylon Theater, the Rego Park landmark that was denied acknowledgment of such by the Landmarks Preservation Commission before being turned into a Bukharian community center. The Bukharian group wasted no time altering the marquee, putting up a hideous, hideous sign entirely in Cyrillic.

Well, a tipster points out that after a coordinated campaign of complaints to Melinda Katz, the marquee now includes the words “COMMUNITY CENTER,” en anglais. Also, precariously perched atop the marquee are the words “OHR NATAN,” which aren’t really English, but hey, they’re closer than the rest.

There’s probably some Christmas lesson to be learned here, about Jews and America and immigration and assimilation and bigotry and stubbornness and the Minuteman Project and the effects of community activism and probably not Jesus, but maybe we can work him in somehow. But whatever; draw your own conclusions. Ho ho ho!

I dropped by the Queens Boulevard and Union Turnpike Starbucks location this evening, even managing to peek into the paper-covered window, and it looks to be almost ready to open. I’d be shocked if it weren’t operational within a month, probably sooner. It looks like there might be an outdoor seating area, too, which is a bit of an odd choice for that exhaust-ridden intersection but kinda cool nonetheless. Other big openings after the jump!

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You know what’d be nice? If the brand-new building housing Trader Joe’s wasn’t an architectural disaster.

Guess what, everybody? I wrote a column! Well, actually, I write a column every week in The Forum West (website still pending), but I’ve never posted them here. They’re usually not topical enough to pass blog muster–I tend to favor sweeping sociological observations over what happened at the latest community-board meeting. This week, however, I would have been remiss not to write about the phenomenon that is Trader Joe’s. I paid a little visit, as did many of you, and here’s my take, to be seen in bank vestibules everywhere this Thursday:

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Oddly and disturbingly, the second deadly shooting in three weeks has taken place up by the LIE overpass in the North Forest Hills-Rego Park gray area. Unlike the last one, this appears to have a clear motive: a custody dispute. The killing seems to have been carried out by hitmen on a playground in the presence of the victim’s daughter. Charming.

Today is T-J Day, which is a lot like V-J Day only a whole lot more momentous — this, of course, is the day that Trader Joe’s finally, finally opens in Forest Hills, or maybe it’s Rego Park, or maybe Glendale. (Consensus seems to have settled on Rego Park.) The Queens Chronicle reports that the California-based chain grocer has bothered to install murals of Station Square and the Whitestone Bridge for some local flavor. It has not, unfortunately, eliminated job titles such as “captain,” which people from Queens generally think is stupid.

My admittedly controversial take? From my carless perch on Queens Boulevard, it’s still easier for me to get to the one in Union Square, and certainly easier for me to get my potato taquitos home. Not to mention $2 $3 wine, not available in the Rego Hilldale store.

But of course, as just about anyone will tell you, this is still a huge boon for the area. The city’s second Trader Joe’s! Even when Brooklyn gets its store next year, we’ll always be No. 2.