A Greenmarket in Forest Hills is something that’s been on a lot of people’s wish lists for a long time, but nobody ever bothered to do anything about it until the forums’ mickiet actually–get this–wrote to the people responsible. And guess what? They wrote back, saying it might be a possibility and asking for potential locations! If enough people write, they’re sure to seriously consider it, so I encourage you to do so. All the details you need are in the thread linked above. For my money, Station Square would be the perfect location, and who knows? The Gardens people might actually be into the idea.

From the forums, which attribute the news to FH72 even though I can’t find it there, Men’s Wearhouse and Strawberry are gone from Austin Street. Though I never stepped into Men’s Wearhouse even once, that’s a loss because it’s a reasonably classy place for medium-endy menswear. Strawberry? Eh.

We are in the midst of big changes, yessir. I haven’t quite figured out whether all this is good yet. All I know is that the Staubach place is advertising for “soulless chain stores, soulless chain stores, non-restaurants, soulless chain stores, banks or any other national soulless chain stores, the upper level is ideal for medical use as well.”

Oh, hey there. How has your month been?

So. I’m not happy. As seldom as I’ve been posting here lately, I have continued to submit regular columns to the Forum West–but of course, you knew that. This week’s column, just out today, is about the upcoming Roger Staubach edifice at the corner of 70th Road and Austin, which will replace several stores you don’t care about but also Restaurant Row mainstays Rouge and Narita. Rouge–which I thought was overrated anyway–is already gone. Fearing the end of FoHi’s restaurant mecca, I implored NFL legend Staubach:

The future tenants of the new building should be businesses that will make us proud, and on 70th Road, they must be restaurants that will keep the street the attraction that it is.

Well, I finally went by today, and guess what’s in the window of Rouge? A bunch of for-rent signs, most of which clearly and brutally specify: “NO FOOD.”

Gotta love how the only type of business I want just happens to be the only type of business Roger doesn’t. Quelle coïncidence!

In other news, as first reported on the forums–which have been busier than ever in my absence, by the way; I love you guys–long, long, longtime 70th Road fave UJ’s Luncheonette has closed as well, despite not being threatened by the Staubach development. They simply ran out of cash. There’s a really nice sign in the window thanking customers and asking them to visit eatatujs.com, where they can sign the guestbook and even recommend potential smaller, cheaper locations. (Lousy old Brothers Coffee Shop in AQUA on QB and 77th strikes me as a great possibility.) You know, I never thought I’d really miss UJ’s, but looking in the window and seeing all the kitschy bric-a-brac, I’m reminded that it was a great neighborhood place. And I don’t think many would argue that it was the best diner in town.

I dropped by the Queens Boulevard and Union Turnpike Starbucks location this evening, even managing to peek into the paper-covered window, and it looks to be almost ready to open. I’d be shocked if it weren’t operational within a month, probably sooner. It looks like there might be an outdoor seating area, too, which is a bit of an odd choice for that exhaust-ridden intersection but kinda cool nonetheless. Other big openings after the jump!

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You know what’d be nice? If the brand-new building housing Trader Joe’s wasn’t an architectural disaster.

I spent much of Saturday buying a kitchen over at Ikea — the Long Island one; if you live here, you’ve got to be crazy even to set foot in the more-popular, headache-inducing Jersey location. Yes, I’m buying a kitchen from Ikea, the store that made wobbly fashionable, but hey, they’re highly recommended and super, super cheap. I was wearing my favorite Forest Hills Neighborhoodie, blue and gold with a zip-up front and “FOREST HILLS” in big bold letters in the middle. As I was filling out the form, one of Ikea’s fine “kitchen planning specialists” piped up:

IKEA GUY: Hey, Forest Hills! We do a lot of kitchens in Forest Hills.
ME: Really?
IKEA GUY: Yeah, seriously, practically half the kitchens we sell go to Forest Hills.
ME: That’s really interesting. I actually wouldn’t have expected that.
IKEA GUY: I don’t know why. It used to be Williamsburg, but now it’s all Forest Hills.

Williamsburg and Forest Hills in the same sentence? Be still, my beating heart! My theory: Just as once happened in Williamsburg, as younger, budget-minded people buy places in Forest Hills, they find their kitchens to be hideous and run to their beloved Ikea to purchase a new one. So there you have it: proof positive, courtesy of no less an authority than some guy working at Ikea, that Forest Hills is younger and hipper than ever before! Why, we’re practically East East East Williamsburg. Now where’s our independent record store?

As reported here and elsewhere, a Tudor-flavored storefront in scenic East AQUA has been under construction for some time now–not so noteworthy in and of itself, except for the fact that the construction company in question is Ibex, some sort of ritzy Manhattan firm that specializes in big corporate projects. I passed by the other day, and lo and behold, the scaffolding was down. Of course, I peered in the window to investigate.

The layout immediately struck me as a bit odd. The store, formerly a hated cell-phone emporium, was never very big in the first place, but Ibex had cut off fully half of it with a huge drywall, which had two large squares cut out. On the right was an officey door leading to the back. Something looked … familiar about this.

Wait a minute, I thought, the truth slowly and horribly dawning on me. This is a bank!

And that’s when I saw them — plans sitting folded up in the corner of the store, against the window. The only words visible? “Bank of America.”

Well, it’s not a 99-cent store, at least. And it’s not vacant! And Starbucks is still on for the next block. You’ll need somewhere to take out the $6 or so you’ll need for one of their frothy coffee drinks. Besides the Chase right next door, I mean.

Guess what, everybody? I wrote a column! Well, actually, I write a column every week in The Forum West (website still pending), but I’ve never posted them here. They’re usually not topical enough to pass blog muster–I tend to favor sweeping sociological observations over what happened at the latest community-board meeting. This week, however, I would have been remiss not to write about the phenomenon that is Trader Joe’s. I paid a little visit, as did many of you, and here’s my take, to be seen in bank vestibules everywhere this Thursday:

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Today is T-J Day, which is a lot like V-J Day only a whole lot more momentous — this, of course, is the day that Trader Joe’s finally, finally opens in Forest Hills, or maybe it’s Rego Park, or maybe Glendale. (Consensus seems to have settled on Rego Park.) The Queens Chronicle reports that the California-based chain grocer has bothered to install murals of Station Square and the Whitestone Bridge for some local flavor. It has not, unfortunately, eliminated job titles such as “captain,” which people from Queens generally think is stupid.

My admittedly controversial take? From my carless perch on Queens Boulevard, it’s still easier for me to get to the one in Union Square, and certainly easier for me to get my potato taquitos home. Not to mention $2 $3 wine, not available in the Rego Hilldale store.

But of course, as just about anyone will tell you, this is still a huge boon for the area. The city’s second Trader Joe’s! Even when Brooklyn gets its store next year, we’ll always be No. 2.

According to a reliable source, the long, long, long awaited FoHi/Rego/Glendale Trader Joe’s is scheduled to open on October 28 or 29.

Whoa, did I just scoop Forest Hills 72 on a Trader Joe’s-related item?