Ok, the solution came to me while smoking one of Fidel's finest as I walked past the stadium a little while ago. Turn the stadium area into a Golf driving range. The tiers are already there, you can have 5 or more levels of driving space, like I have seen in Japan and at the Chelsea piers. Golf has become one of the biggest revenue producing sports over the past decade. The netting, that would prevent the balls from impacting houses or beaning one of the West Siders as they nosh on the patio, is pretty unobtrusive. With proper design, there would be room for on site parking and possibly even a pitch and putt area. It would be low noise, it would draw a nice crowd and golfers pay big money to play. It could be open year round if the stalls are constructed correctly.
Just an idea, maybe the cigar was laced with something!!